Saved to Draft
by LadyLilyMalfoy
Summary: The Unsent Correspondences of Greg Lestrade and Mycroft Holmes.
1. Saved to Draft

**Saved to Draft.**

_**The unsent correspondences of **_

_**Gregory Lestrade and Mycroft Holmes**_

_I would rather be woken up at 4am by you than wake up at 10 with a note on the kitchen table telling me I'm not going to see you today. – Greg_

_I hate being in our flat by myself – Greg._

_I don't know how to be alone anymore. I hate that. It's all your fault. – Greg _

_I hate how much you have made me depend on you. – Greg_

_It's not fair of you to be away so much. This is not what I signed up for. - – Greg_

_I hate that every time you go away I never know when you'll come back. I'm terrified that one day you won't. – Greg_

_I wouldn't mind being poor if it meant you were at home more. – Greg_

_I'd rather be poor. – Greg_

_I hate how needy you've made me. I never used to be. – Greg_

_I hate that I will never let you know how miserable it makes me when you go away. – Greg_

_I hate how I will never come first. – Greg_

_I hate how I knew that in the beginning. – Greg_

_I hate how I'll forgive you everything the moment I hear the front door open. – Greg_

_I wish would happen now. – Greg_

_I hate how I can't press 'send'. – Greg_

_x_

_I would give up everything if you asked me to. I wish you would. I miss you. – M._


	2. Those Things Which Need To Be Said

**Those Things Which Need To Be Said.**

_**Post-Reichenbach.**_

_I love you. –M_

_It wasn't worth it. –M_

_Please come home. –M_

_Don't come home. –M_

_I don't know what to say. Just call me. –M_

_How can I be sorry when I did it to save you? –M_

_I'm sorry. –M_

_Call me. –M_

_I wish I could tell you how close I was to giving it all up. –M_

_I wish I had. –M_

_Even if I told you the truth, you'd still hate me –M_

_Do you hate me? –M_

_If not, why not? –M_

_Please don't. –M_

_I know you don't. –M_

_Do you remember_

_Come back to me, love. –M_

_**Mycroft: **_I'm sorry. –M

_Today, 23:17_


	3. You Wouldn't Listen

_**WARNING: EATING-DISORDER!MYCROFT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. BEEP BEEP! REDLIGHTS OF WARNING! THERE IS NO EXCUSE AND I HOLD NO RESPONSIBILITY, NOR ACCEPT ANY FLAMES.**  
_

_**x**_

_**x**_

_**x**_

_****_**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Do you know how much it hurts me when you leave half your dinner on your plate? –Greg_

_I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. –Greg_

_I love that I can shut my eyes and still remember every contour and every curve of your body. I hate that I have become as intimate with your skeleton too. –Greg_

_You scare me when you get like this. I don't recognise you. _ _–Greg_

_I wish you would tell me what is making you unhappy. –Greg_

_I wish you wouldn't lie to me. –Greg_

_I wish you trusted me. –Greg_

_I'm sorry you can't. –Greg_

_If, in six months time, you turn around to me and say 'why didn't you say anything', I will leave you. –Greg_

_I wish you would let me help you. –Greg_

_I wish you would help yourself. –Greg_

_Fucking hell! I don't know how to do this! –Greg_

_Stop telling me it's okay. –Greg_

_It hurts me that you think I'm so stupid. –Greg_

_At least if you carry on like this, I'll soon be stronger than you and will able to force something down your throat. –Greg_

_Don't make me resort to that, love. –Greg_

_Don't think I won't. –Greg_

_I wish you wouldn't get up and leave the moment I try and talk to you properly. – Greg_

_I don't think I can do this… – Greg_

_I loved you completely and wholly. I still do. Is that not enough? – Greg_

_Please be okay. Please be okay_

**Last Call: ****_Today, 17:36_**_: _999


	4. Stay With Me

**Stay With Me.**

**19:43 –** "They're saying you'll be okay. Trying really hard to believe them. Not doing very well. I'd rather you told me instead."

**20:05 –** "For once, I am glad I have had so much experience with dead bodies. You look like shit, but you don't look like that. Yet."

**20:12 –** "I've called Sherlock. Don't be cross. He didn't seem surprised. I'm hoping he'll be more use to the doctors than I am… They keep asking me questions that I ought to know the answers to. Turns out, I don't know you as well as I thought I did."

**20:37 –** "Just so's you know, Sherlock's furious with you too. Possibly more than I am. I hope you don't wake up whilst he's here."

**21:15 –** "I've been counting your pulse for the last hour, My. I think it's time to wake up so we can both get our lives back."

**21:15 –** "Our _life_."

**21:24 –** "I hope we can just go back to normal. I miss normal, even your gallivanting off around the globe without me, even cooking for two and eating alone, even your pedantry when it comes to cushions… I promise to never put my shoes on the sofa, or wear socks in bed or complain when you leave your towel on the side of the bath if you…_when_ you… Just do it. Please. Please?"

**21:31 –** "Anthea's swearing. Swearing and pacing. I wish you could see what you're doing to everyone. Selfish twat."

**21:36 –** "Now she's verbally abusing the nurses. I wish you could see this, it's fairly hilarious. It's lucky she's only your PA."

**22:02 –** "They're taking you in for tests now, I don't know what they're doing but they won't let me go with you. I'll be here when you get back though. I love you."

**23:18 –** "And now we wait…"

**23:21 –** "The tea's rubbish. You'd definitely disapprove."

**23: 44 –** "Do you remember when we thought it would be a good idea to have Blue Danube as our first dance so we practised in the living room? Do you remember we couldn't find the CD so I had to sing it and it ended up being a weird hybrid of Blue Danube, the Nutcracker Waltz and Swan Lake? I've got that tune stuck in my head now…"

**23:57 –** "Do you remember during our actual first dance when you kept stepping on my toes because of your stupid big feet and you had to hide your face in my shoulder so that no one would see you giggling? I think that was my second favourite part of our wedding."

**00:10 –** "The nurses are trying to make me leave because it's stupid o'clock. Anthea's threatening to dissolve the entire NHS. They look pretty scared. I think they'll give in."

**00:12 –** "They gave in and brought me a blanket. See you when you wake up, love. Sweet dreams."


	5. Some Things Don't Need to be Said

Despite the uncomfortable angle at which he was forced to sit, Greg slept long and deeply by Mycroft's bedside – completely drained, not just from the previous day but from the whole excruciating build up to this point. Thankfully, his mind allowed some respite and did not inflict dreams upon the exhausted man, but allowed him to rest without interruption, one hand laid lightly upon his husband's – thumb tucked underneath and just resting on the slow but steady pulse.

At six forty-five, a painful throb swept through Mycroft's head, followed swiftly by the sharp sting of the needle in the back of his left hand as consciousness finally began to return. The physical discomfort, however, was nothing compared to the pounding his conscience was giving him. If he had possessed even a modicum of energy, he'd have buried himself under the thin sheet draped over him and hid from the world until the mortification had worn off or, more likely, until there was nobody left to despise him and condemn him for his selfishness. He couldn't bear even imagining the expressions on their faces, much less seeing them in the flesh.

_'Infantile child...'_

His stomach snarled, adding to the cacophony of reprimands he was throwing at himself. Mycroft cringed internally; breath catching on something stuck in his throat, Mycroft's heart jolted as fear of the inevitable repercussions of his ridiculous behaviour took hold.

The sudden quickening of the pulse beneath his fingers roused Greg was his sleep as effectively as if it has stopped altogether. He jerked and sat up, blinking hard against the white hospital lights until his eyes and mind were able to focus on the man lying beside him. The first thing to catch his attention was the slightest flush of colour in Mycroft's gaunt cheeks, the second was his eyes flickering behind closed lids, and the third was that these meant some degree of progress.

Despite the leap his heart gave, Greg refused to allow himself to be carried along by a wave of excitement. Instead, he leaned forwards – as slowly as he could manage without putting any pressure on the hand still clasped in his – to search Mycroft's face for any undeniable evidence of consciousness.

Mycroft tensed as he felt movement, that he assumed was Gregory's, beside him. He knew there was nothing for it but to face the consequences of his denial, but that knowledge did nothing to ease the way. A hand brushing softly against his cheek made him flinch and his eyes spring open, breaking through the seal of sleep that had held them fast.

They stared at one another for several long moments, assessing and revaluating and aligning themselves in accordance to what had passed since they had last been them.

Everything had changed, they both knew that, and yet – somehow – nothing was different.

Paying no heed to the pain caused by movement, Mycroft leaned up just as Greg leaned down and they met halfway in a kiss.

The sorrys and the resentments, the fear and the stress, and all the unspoken words between them flickered and vanished, leaving behind only love and those things which don't need to be said.

**The End**

****_A/N: Thank you for reading and sticking to this short story! I hope the end has made up for any emotional damage caused! xxx_


End file.
